Monthly Archives: March 2008

List Obsessed: Looking for recomendations

My obsession with lists goes back to fifth grade.  Our teacher, Mrs. Seaney, had us keep journals.  She would give us a daily journal prompt to respond to. If we didn’t like the prompt, there was a list of other activities we could do.  One of them was to make a list.  I thought that making lists would be an easy way to pass the time and fill up my allotted page in the journal.   I made lists of future children’s names, different ways to spell MY name (I’m still obsessed with writing my own name over and over), types of cars, etc.  

As an adult, I’m still somewhat list-obsessed:  lists of things to do, lists of stuff to buy, lists of repairs I want to make on the house.  My Netflix queue is a list of movies I want to see, Amazon keeps a list of books I want to read.  I can also use these services to list the movies/books I’ve already seen/read.  Even my favorite blog posts are lists: qualities I want in a guy, things that suck, things that rock, books I never finished. I like other people’s list-making blogs.  And, just like in 5th grade, there are journals sold that focus on list writing as a way of self-discovery.

 coverI saw this book on Amazon and wondered if it was worth it.  I really feel like I should compile all my lists somewhere, but I’m a little too lazy most days to do it.  

Anyone have any good suggestions?  Is this book worth it or is there another way to make productive use out of list making?

Unfinished Business

middlesexcover

OldSchoolCoverFridaycover

Unfinished Business

So, I’m a reader, right? I learned to read at age 3 and ever since I’ve listed “reading” as one of my favorite hobbies. I have a built-in bookshelf in my living room, I work for an organization devoted to literacy and I’m even a member of a book club.

There’s only one problem—I’m a reader, but I’m not exactly a devoted reader. I don’t always finish the books I start. I was thinking about this today while I was at the bookstore. I was looking for my next book club title, when I saw a bunch of familiar titles and thought “why did I never finish these?”

For some of them, I simply didn’t like the book. Others I abandoned because something more interesting came along or I just didn’t finish “in time.”

Whatever the reason, there are over 20 books on my shelf right now that I’ve never finished (this doesn’t even count the books that I’ve never even started…that’s a whole other issue).

Here they are, in no particular order:

Continue reading

When the Levees Broke

On to my day.  Not a great diet day.  Too many carbs.  Boredom is the enemy of dieting. I’m eating entirely too much food and not exercising enough (or in the case of this week… not at all)

I *finally* got around to watching Disc 1 of the Spike Lee documentary on Hurricane Katrina When the Levees Broke. I’ve had it for over a year.  Seriously, since February 2007.   Just like the first time I tried to watch it, I fell asleep about halfway through the first act.  But this time I actually finished it.  Probably because I’m going to New Orleans next week.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I somehow managed to skim over the horrendousness of Katrina.  Yeah, I knew it happened, but I wasn’t really engaged in how much these people struggled (and continue to struggle). I think I gave $20 to save the displaced pets, but didn’t really think about the amount of human suffering.  I guess that was Spike Lee’s point.  While all these people were literally fighting for their lives, other people in America (most notably the president) were going about their lives as if it were business as usual.

Stumbling around the blogosphere

Well, I finally broke down and started this blog last night. Still trying to find my way through. I can’t seem to pick a page theme and I’m not quite sure about the widgets yet. What’s more is I just copied and pasted old mySpace posts over as “classics” but I didn’t do it in any discernable order and they don’t have a consistent style. Maybe I’ll fix that later. Maybe not.

I’m also trying to figure out a direction for this blog. It seems as if the most succesful blogs are focused around one central theme. Hell, there’s a guy who did esentially the same thing as my “things that rock” list and turned it into an entire blog called “things I love.” (see blogroll– I’ll figure out how to hyperlink eventually).

So do I choose just one thing– like this somewhat lame daily diary– and stick with it? Or do I just allow the categories to help make sense of things. When I started this blog I thought that it would give me a place to express all kinds of things that I can’t through mySpace… more of my personal thoughts/feelings, maybe some character sketches, good old-fashioned $hit talking. But maybe the randomness makes it less compelling. We’ll see.

I’ve also noticed that shorter is generally better when it comes to blogs, so I’ll stop this here and post the other things I’m thinking about as separate entries. Oh, and I need more pictures. All text is lame.

Thoughts on Weight Loss

(this “classic” post is especially sad considering I’ve actually gained weight since then… but I’m sure weight issues will be prominently featured in this blog, so I’m posting it anyway)

First published: Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Thoughts on Weight Loss

Thoughts on Weight Loss

I’ve been trying to write this blog for a while, but I just don’t know how to start….. First of all, let me make something clear: This blog is not about how to lose weight, nor is it my way of trying to weasel compliments out of my mySpace peeps (although compliments are always accepted–word!). What I’ve wanted to write about is how other people react when someone loses weight…


Here’s the deal: over the past couple of years, I’ve lost some weight. I lost some last year for my brother’s wedding in Jamaica, then gained some back over the winter and have recently lost some more. No big deal, right? Well, apparently it is…. I could be overly sensitive (wouldn’t be the first time), but it seems like lately weight loss, losing weight and my looks are the only thing people want to talk to me about.

Now I’m not talking about my good friends, really… mostly co-workers and casual acquaintances. People who I don’t necessarily talk to on a daily basis. But that makes it worse. I mean, how often do you–in your everyday life– talk to casual acquaintances about your weight, your body and your eating habits? Probably not much. Before I lost weight, I NEVER talked to people about these things, but now they find it perfectly acceptable to talk to me about it.


Don’t get me wrong…. the vast majority of people just say something like: “you look good” or “you’ve lost weight, haven’t you?” but I’ve also had a lot of people say really strange/inappropriate things to me like:

“So, what are you doing to lose all that weight?”


“Exactly HOW MUCH weight have you lost?”

“Hey, look, there goes the skinny ——“
(which made me literally want to crawl out of my skin)

“Congratulations”

(this one really weirded me out ‘cuz it took a while to figure out why I was being congratulated”Although I think most people are generally happy for me, I’ve been feeling some backlash lately. One woman even went so far as to tell me how before I lost weight I would wear a lot of dark, monotone colors and now I’m wearing a lot brighter colors. Well a) it’s summer… I always wear brighter clothes in the summer b) I’ve always thought I had cute clothes and c) what business is it of hers, anyway? This is the same woman who told me I’m much more ‘confident’ now so I guess I should take it with a grain of salt.

I’ve also found that some people, even though they act happy for me, seem to be using my weight loss as a comparison for theirs. That’s not healthy and it makes me feel bad. Like: “wow… if only I could lose as much weight as you.” It’s not a competition, people. JEEZ!

So, since I’ve been rambling on and on, here are the most commonly asked questions, and my responses.

“Have you lost weight?”


Yes, I’ve been losing weight for probably 2 years now. I started really trying before my brother’s wedding last July. I lost some weight for the wedding, gained a little back and then lost some more.

“How much?”

This question drives me crazy.

First of all… I honestly don’t know how much weight I’ve lost and I don’t care. I don’t own a scale and haven’t been on one in at least 6 weeks. I can tell you that I’ve dropped 2 pants sizes and many of my old shirts are now falling off of me, which is enough of a barometer for me. I could care less what the scale says.

What I find interesting is the reasons people ask me this in the first place. From my experience, this question sounds like: “so, exactly how fat did you USED to be?” Or they’re also trying to lose weight and are using it as some sort of comparison. I’m really not interested in either of these things.

And, sometimes, “How are you doing it” or “what diet are you on”?

I think people are looking for me to tell them I’m doing it with Weight Watchers or LA Weight Loss or some other canned program. They’re looking for the magic answer so they can go tell people: “well, so and so lost 45 lbs on weight watchers” or something.

I won’t go into the details because I have no desire for people to comment on whether or not they think I’m eating ‘right’, but I’m just eating less and exercising more. I also had a 6-week period there where I was under a lot of stress and—for the first time in my life—it caused me to LOSE weight instead of gain it. But keeping it off is due to old-fashioned diet and exercise. I wish there was a magic answer, but there’s not. Sux, doesn’t it?

So, next time you see me, feel free to tell me how amazing I look (‘cuz, well—you know—everyone likes to hear that sometimes), or compliment me on my stylish duds, but leave it at that. Talk to me about something else…. Music, movies, work, gossip… ANYTHING but the fact that my body looks different than it used to. ‘Cuz, frankly… I’m sick of talking about it.

Mr. Right . . . Not Mr. Right Now!

First published: Monday, May 21, 2007

Mr. Right… Not Mr. Right Now!
Category: Romance and Relationships

So, for those of you who know me (and some of you who don’t), you know that my track record in the love department isn’t exactly stellar.  I’ve dated a lot of  “Mr. Right Now” types, meaning that they were fun for a while, but definitely not “keeper” material. 

To try to remedy this, I’ve made a list of characteristics Mr. Right should have.  Obviously, some of these traits are more crucial than others (like, not having a wife/GF/significant other) while others are more like icing on the cake (will let me eat off his plate).

So, here, in no particular order are the traits I’d like to see in the future Mr. Cari Rich:

  • Doesn’t have a wife/girlfriend/significant other  (Crucial!)
  • Is college-educated
  • Has a job
  • Respects women
  • Can get along with my family
  • Is tall-ish
    (preferably 6′ or taller, but I’m willing to bend on this one)
  • Isn’t an alcoholic/drug addict
  • Likes my dog
  • Is comfortable going out w/my friends OR staying in
  • Isn’t intimidated by me
  • Adventurous—likes to try new things
  • Likes to travel
  • Smart
  • Isn’t sleeping with/married to/dating one of my friends
  • Caring
  • Good cook
  • Well-read (or at least *has* read a book!)
  • Is handy around the house; knows how to fix things
    (I still need some blinds hung, BTW)
  • Good fashion sense… but not too much
  • Doesn’t cheat
  • Isn’t a player
  • Calls when he says he will (I realize this is a near-impossiblity in the male species, but it doesn’t hurt to try!)
  • Is proud of me
  • Is not hung up on appearances/looks, but takes care of himself
  • Good kisser
  • Sexual chemistry (hey—I’m honest, it’s important!)
  • Enjoys music
  • Is financially responsible
  • Is ambitious
  • Is outgoing
  • Is affectionate in private & in public
  • Doesn’t have kids or an ex-wife
    (again, negotiable, but it’s ideal if there’s no baggage)
  • Someone I can learn from
  • Confident
  • Wants a family
  • Is open-minded
  • Loves me for who I am
  • Is not judgmental
  • Likes to dance
  • Has an even temper (‘cuz we all know I don’t!)
  • Likes to dance, but doesn’t have to be a GREAT dancer
  • Has talent
  • Has a decent body… doesn’t have to be perfect, but should take care of himself
  • Isn’t looking to change me
  • Will take out the trash
  • Has hobbies
  • Isn’t too clingy
  • Wants to get married– but not immediately
  • Has morals
  • Is 35 or younger
  • Has a good relationship with his family
  • Is hard-working and dependable
  • Has manners
  • Fun-loving
  • Will let me eat off his plate
  • Is supportive
  • Gives me compliments
  • Remembers my birthday
  • Doesn’t rely on me for his emotional/physical well-being
  • Can be sensitive, but is typically strong
  • Will laugh at my cheesy jokes
  • Thinks I’m the greatest
  • Has a license AND a car… doesn’t have to be a nice car, but I have no desire to drive anyone around!
  • OMG– I almost forgot:  He *must* be funny!
  • Will make a good dad one day

That’s only a partial list…. You don’t think it’s too much to ask, do you?   What other traits should I be looking for that I’ve missed?

So now it’s up to each and every one of you—my mySpace friends—to be on the lookout for Mr. Right, so that I don’t fall for yet another Mr. Wrong!

Crashing Through

Crashing Through
Category: Writing and Poetry

Crashing Through

So, I’m in a book club with some people from work (yeah, yeah… I work for an organization of English teachers, what did you expect?) and our book this month (my pic) as called Crashing Through: A True Story of Risk, Adventure, and the Man Who Dared to See by Robert Kurson. It’s about Michael May, a man who had been blind since the age of 3 and had his vision restored in his mid 40’s. The book is wonderful, well-written and clearly very well researched.

Continue reading