Thoughts on Weight Loss
Thoughts on Weight Loss
I’ve been trying to write this blog for a while, but I just don’t know how to start….. First of all, let me make something clear: This blog is not about how to lose weight, nor is it my way of trying to weasel compliments out of my mySpace peeps (although compliments are always accepted–word!). What I’ve wanted to write about is how other people react when someone loses weight…
Here’s the deal: over the past couple of years, I’ve lost some weight. I lost some last year for my brother’s wedding in Jamaica, then gained some back over the winter and have recently lost some more. No big deal, right? Well, apparently it is…. I could be overly sensitive (wouldn’t be the first time), but it seems like lately weight loss, losing weight and my looks are the only thing people want to talk to me about.
Now I’m not talking about my good friends, really… mostly co-workers and casual acquaintances. People who I don’t necessarily talk to on a daily basis. But that makes it worse. I mean, how often do you–in your everyday life– talk to casual acquaintances about your weight, your body and your eating habits? Probably not much. Before I lost weight, I NEVER talked to people about these things, but now they find it perfectly acceptable to talk to me about it.
Don’t get me wrong…. the vast majority of people just say something like: “you look good” or “you’ve lost weight, haven’t you?” but I’ve also had a lot of people say really strange/inappropriate things to me like:
“So, what are you doing to lose all that weight?”
“Exactly HOW MUCH weight have you lost?”
“Hey, look, there goes the skinny ——“
(which made me literally want to crawl out of my skin)
(this one really weirded me out ‘cuz it took a while to figure out why I was being congratulated”Although I think most people are generally happy for me, I’ve been feeling some backlash lately. One woman even went so far as to tell me how before I lost weight I would wear a lot of dark, monotone colors and now I’m wearing a lot brighter colors. Well a) it’s summer… I always wear brighter clothes in the summer b) I’ve always thought I had cute clothes and c) what business is it of hers, anyway? This is the same woman who told me I’m much more ‘confident’ now so I guess I should take it with a grain of salt.
I’ve also found that some people, even though they act happy for me, seem to be using my weight loss as a comparison for theirs. That’s not healthy and it makes me feel bad. Like: “wow… if only I could lose as much weight as you.” It’s not a competition, people. JEEZ!
So, since I’ve been rambling on and on, here are the most commonly asked questions, and my responses.
“Have you lost weight?”
Yes, I’ve been losing weight for probably 2 years now. I started really trying before my brother’s wedding last July. I lost some weight for the wedding, gained a little back and then lost some more.
This question drives me crazy.
First of all… I honestly don’t know how much weight I’ve lost and I don’t care. I don’t own a scale and haven’t been on one in at least 6 weeks. I can tell you that I’ve dropped 2 pants sizes and many of my old shirts are now falling off of me, which is enough of a barometer for me. I could care less what the scale says.
What I find interesting is the reasons people ask me this in the first place. From my experience, this question sounds like: “so, exactly how fat did you USED to be?” Or they’re also trying to lose weight and are using it as some sort of comparison. I’m really not interested in either of these things.
And, sometimes, “How are you doing it” or “what diet are you on”?
I think people are looking for me to tell them I’m doing it with Weight Watchers or LA Weight Loss or some other canned program. They’re looking for the magic answer so they can go tell people: “well, so and so lost 45 lbs on weight watchers” or something.
I won’t go into the details because I have no desire for people to comment on whether or not they think I’m eating ‘right’, but I’m just eating less and exercising more. I also had a 6-week period there where I was under a lot of stress and—for the first time in my life—it caused me to LOSE weight instead of gain it. But keeping it off is due to old-fashioned diet and exercise. I wish there was a magic answer, but there’s not. Sux, doesn’t it?
So, next time you see me, feel free to tell me how amazing I look (‘cuz, well—you know—everyone likes to hear that sometimes), or compliment me on my stylish duds, but leave it at that. Talk to me about something else…. Music, movies, work, gossip… ANYTHING but the fact that my body looks different than it used to. ‘Cuz, frankly… I’m sick of talking about it.