Jedi Mind tricks

Do any of you ever read an old blog post and think “just who does that self-centered a-hole think they are?”  and then realize that the self-centered a-hole is you?  That’s how I feel about yesterday’s post.

Moving right along…

In that post, I mentioned that my ‘usual’ running tricks haven’t been working.    Over the course of a typical run, here’s what I tell myself:

• Only  x more miles.
• I’ve run 8 miles before [3, 5, 6] is nothing
• I feel fine.  I’m not tired, my breathing isn’t labored, I got this
• I can go on like this forever.  This is going to be a great run
• Make it through this song and it will  be fine
• Make it to the end of this street and it will be fine
• [check watch]  It’s been x minutes.  Only x more.
• Slow down
• Try not to think about running.   Think of something else.
• [check watch]  Damn.  Only 5 mins after last time I checked.
• [see other runner]  Don’t have to go fast.  Just don’t let him/her know you’re struggling.  Try to smile.
• [on busy road]  Walkers don’t walk here.  This is for runners only.  Don’t let those cars see you walk.
• [getting tired]  Wow.  This [3, 5, 6] mile run is hard…. how on earth am I going to make it 13?
• Imagine the finish line.
• Imagine running by people you know on the course.
• Repeat half-marathon slogan
• Mentally write the half-marathon race report
• Remind myself that it’s all mental.
• Do a physical check– legs: good,  breathing: good, no reason you can’t go on
• Bargain with myself that I can do *just* one more mile/10 more mins/to the end of the street
• Secretly hope to go further

Most of these things work… or at least work in conjunction with one another.  Sometimes I’ll tell myself I just have to make it through a song.  And when I get to the end of the song, I’m halfway to the end of the street… so I’ll get to the end of the street.  And then it’s just another mile.  So I’ll continue on.

But sometimes lately, I’ve been KEEPING the bargains with myself.  When I say I’ll run to the end of the road/song/whatever, I do just that.  And then stop.  This is getting me into all kinds of trouble, because once I stop, I’m done.  I’m not good at the run-walk-run routine.    I  know that it’s almost all mental, but I’ve been having a hard time getting over the mental hurdle.

Any ideas?  Any tricks that work for you??

Stream of consciousness

Here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment:

• I suck at running.  Like really, really suck.   It’s all mental, but I can’t plow through.  Maybe I need to change my diet.  Maybe I need to run faster.  Or slower.  Or on the treadmill for a while.  Maybe there’s some running jedi mind tricks I haven’t thought about.  But I need to do something.  Soon.
• I’ve sucked at skating lately, too. I blame the rental skates.  Mine should be here late this week/early next week.  Cannot wait.  Not sure what I’ll blame after that.  Probably missing practices.   I have my skills test April 7.   Let’s hope I’m over this suckiness by then.
• There are these birds in my neighborhood.  They look like hawks.  But there are a LOT of them.   THey have red on the underside of their wings.  I’ve scoured the internet and can’t figure out what they are.  I even did a bird finding wizard.   I think they’re brown.  None of the brown birds look like these.  All the black birds in Illinois are allegedly vultures/buzzards.  It’s a mystery.
• I’ve been plagued by lots of stupid drama lately.  I really try to not let it get to me but sometimes I just can’t help it.  Apparently my skin isn’t as thick as I once thought it was.
• I’m trying to think of something positive to keep this from being a Debbie Downer post.  Right now I’m drawing a blank.
• Oh, yeah… I get to see my niece this weekend (and my brother.  and my sister in law)
• Our roller derby team is hosting the STL team…  I’m sure we’ll learn lots from them.
• It’s soooo nice out.  But it just serves to remind me that I suck at running.  I’m blaming the wind.
• Living alone after having someone here for an extended period of time is a bit of a drag.  I think I’m over the “I get to leave my $hit laying around and can watch all the TV I want” stage.  Now I’m just bored.
• Oh, for those of you who don’t know… my boyfriend got a job where he works out of town M-F and is only home on the weekends.  It’s week 3.  And despite what it says above,  it’s not so bad.  At least not as bad as I thought it would be.
• I feel blessed to have as many friends as I do… and in such diverse groups.  But sometimes it leads to being over-extended.   I’m not sure when my next “free” day is.
• Then again, when I get free time I blog about random (mostly depressing) things.
• I don’t need an easy button.  I need a “snap out of it” button.   Kind of like a re-do.  I’d like to start this week over…

I think that’s enough. I’m even boring myself.   Off to read a few other blogs and hope for some inspiration!

UPDATE:

• I thought of one more thing I suck at– bills/paperwork.  I have a pile of it on my table that hasn’t been touched for weeks….

Foto Friday: I Heart Central Illinois

The sun wasn’t cooperating with me on this one, but today during my (super sucky) run, I HAD to snap this photo.   I don’t know if you can tell, but there’s TONS o’ TACKY going on here– The miniature deer, the garden gnome, the birdhouse.  But the highlight is the SNOWMAN on the door.   Class-y!

I’ve lost much of my muchness

I’ve been struggling with my runs lately.  Blame it on the time change, weather change, travelling, roller derby, illness, whatever.  But the simple fact is, I’m not IN IT like I need to be.  To steal a phrase from Alice in Wonderland, I’ve lost much of my muchness.

I haven’t hit a weekday run in over two weeks.   I cut short both of my runs while I was in Louisville for work (one on a treadmill and one–gasp– with a coworker).   I did manage one stellar 8 mi run BEFORE work last week, but that was the last time I actually felt GOOD about a run.

Last night was especially brutal.  I felt good.  My legs were fresh.  The weather was nice.  I hadn’t planned on running, but I felt like it.  I figured it would be just what I needed to get back on track.  I planned a nice 6.5 mile route and told myself I’d run at LEAST 5 mi of it, if not more.    I made it just over 3 mi.  I wasn’t especially tired.  My legs/lungs didn’t hurt.  I just gave up.   Then I decided I’d walk for a bit and run the second 3 mi.   Gave up again.  All in all, I ran about 4 mi and walked the rest.   “Real” runners were passing me and smiling at one another.  I felt like a loser.

I used all my “tricks” to get me through the run– counting songs, visualizing finishing the race, “bargaining” with myself for just another 20 mins.  But none of it worked.  Running is mostly mental and my mental game is just not there.  Lack of muchness.

There are less than 40 days til the half marathon.  I KNOW I can do it, but right now my confidence is waning.  Big Time.  What if I have a “bad run” on race day?  What if I can’t get back into the groove for my 9, 10, 11 mile runs?    I def need a  plan for getting me out of this slump.

Foto Friday: Derby Pix

This week I went to get my “official”  roller derby pix taken.  Since I still haven’t 100% chosen a name, I wasn’t quite sure what to do, so I pulled out the costume tub and put together the most derby-rific outfit I could find. 

Here are some of the better shots:

attempting a "mean face"

This one's my favorite

boots AND skates?? hmmm...

Clearly, I need to work on my mean face if I’m going for the Bitch E. Rich persona :)