Of Rice and Men

You know how facebook’s new prompt is “What’s on your mind?”  Well, this is what mine would say if I answered that question correctly (and repeatedly)

• It’s Friday night. I’m hanging out at home.  I’m okay with that.  I can handle solitude in small doses.
• I paid $75 this week to get my oil changed and a new tail light.  Then they told me I needed new brakes and a bunch of other stuff.  I hate car repairs.  I don’t have a car payment, so I can’t complain.  But, seriously!
• I’ve apparently forgotten how to make rice.  It’s been cooking for probably an hour and I’ve had to add water twice.  Grrr..
• I had a great run tonight. I think it’s the new shoes.
• I have a super busy weekend planned.  Hence the staying home on a Friday night.
• We started a “Biggest Loser” thing this week in preparation for Steph’s wedding.   I think it will be fun. I’m taking “before” and “after” pictures, but I can’t post them until it’s all over.
• My co-worker just had her babies.  Yes, that’s right– twins.  And she has a one-year old at home.  Congrats!
• I need to write a couple stories for my class. I have some ideas, but I can’t bring myself to write them yet.  Thus, the blogging.
• I’m dog sitting for the night and I just discovered Roxie has this crazy “patch” of skin/fur that needs to be checked out.  Yet another appointment I’ll forget to make.
• I really need a personal assistant.  Or maybe just someone to pay my bills.  I’m also putting that off.
• Kansas’ Carry On My Wayward Son makes zero sense.  But it’s so damn catchy.
• Kansas is my least favorite state to drive through.  On one trip out West, my parents drove through Kansas in the middle of the night to spare us the boredom.  I woke up in the middle of the state thinking there was a rain storm.  There wasn’t. It was bugs.  Splattering on the windshield enough to make me wake up and think it was rain.  Gross.   My apologies to any  Kansasians (?) who might read this…
• The shuffle on my iPod is apparently not working ‘cuz Kansas is now on again.  Annoying.  Must change it.
• Got up to change the song on the iPod and realized the rice was burning. Smoke alarm went off. Hilarity ensued. 
• Foo Fighters now on iPod.  Best of You. I can’t hear this song without thinking about Breaking Bonaduce when his wife gave him a mirror with the lyrics on it. “I needed somewhere to hang my head/without your noose.”  Yeah, totally not a love song.  I think they’re now divorced.
• I think the burnt rice ruined my “good” stock pot.  Ugh.
• This is my new favorite quote:  “I don’t feel middle-aged — I just feel like I’ve been young a lot longer than most people. ”
  Not that I am middle aged, but the second half really resonated with me.   It came from this really great article on drinking.

I think I’ll end on that note.  ‘Night.

About Twilight…

I’ve been sick.  Stupid stomach flu has kept me inside for the last 3 days and I’m going crazy.  This afternoon was the first time I even felt good enough to get online, if that tells you anything.   I watched MOST of the Oscars and took notes but haven’t had a chance to search for/upload pix.  If you’re still interested in my post-Oscar fashion re-cap, let me now. Otherwise I’ll skip it this year.

On to Twilight–    Because I had 3 days of nothing to do and TV made me nauseous, I managed to finish the Twilight series.   I have to say that, as a whole, I was disappointed.   I kinda thought it was a little hokey after the first book, but I promised myself I’d reserve judgement until the end.    And, you know what?  I honestly don’t see what all the hype was about.

Yes, I can see why teenage girls like it.  Yes, it’s easy to read.  Yes, I found myself wanting to know how it all turned out in the end.

But, the problem is:  I really didn’t CARE about any of the characters.  Well, maybe Charlie.  But the rest of them were just prototypes–  The awkward, misfit, “She doesn’t know she’s beautiful”  duckling that turns into a SWAN (Get it?  Bella Swan?  Real subtle),  her dashing “prince” Edward (who is way cuter in the book than in the movie posters I’ve seen btw), with amazing self control, the tortured “best friend” Jacob who just loves Bella more than life itself… yada, yada, yada.  

I also had a problem with the storyline.  Although I did wonder how Stephanie Meyer would tie everything up in the end, there was never any doubt that she would  tie everything up… in a nice, little, no-real-harm-done-here little bow.  It was so simplistic that I was surprised it took 4 books and over 2500 pages to tell the story.   And NONE of it was new– vampires vs. werewolves, shape shifters, vampire “law,” immortal children. I’ve seen it all before, and it’s not like I’m a huge vampire fanatic (although I have read some Anne Rice and I do enjoy the TV show True Blood).

I think the thing that bugged me the most about these books is the fanfare.  These books have been billed as  ”the next Harry Potter.”  I think that’s a huge insult to Harry Potter and JK Rowling.    Don’t get me wrong… I wanted to get swept up in Twilight mania. I wanted to find something as lasting and as magical as Harry Potter.  But this, my friends,  just ain’t it.  

The Harry Potter world is true fantasy– filled with all kinds of magical people, places, and things.  This world is our world– filled with people (and vampires and werewolves) that are pretty much just like us.  And I realize that the “realness” of the world is part of the appeal… part of the fantasy that this could REALLY happen, but it also takes away some of the richness and depth.  

For me, these books are more like the “next Sweet Valley High;” fun to read, entertaining, but utterly forgettable.  I know many of you disagree, so please feel free to tell me why you liked the books.   ‘Cuz I honestly don’t see what all the fuss is about.

30 Days of 30: By the Numbers

Those of you paying close attention may have noticed that the 30 days of 30 technically lasted only 29 days (Jan 5-Feb 2).  There were also a couple of unclaimed days in there, but I filled them by hanging out with my mom and a co-worker.  

BUT… the 30 days aren’t really over yet.  When this blog goes live, I’ll be in Chicago for the finale, so I’m counting my party on Saturday as the 30th day.

If my calculations are correct, here are some other interesting numbers about my 30 days:

60– Number of people I celebrated with this month.* 

36– Number of locations– 16 restaurants, 11 bars**, 1 bakery,  1 arena, 1 bowling alley, 1 movie theater, 1 out of town location (Galena), 1 shopping center, and 3 private residences.  

The most common location for 30 days activities was Bunny’s, followed closely by a tie between Crane Alley and Boltini.   This is notable because I probably haven’t been to either of these places much in the past year, but I really like them.  Houlihan’s and the Courier were the most popular non-drinking establishments. 

6– Number of places I’d never been before: Galena, Bridget’s house, La Gourmandise Bistro, The Brass Rail, The Sandwich shop (whose name I’ve yet to look for), Cakes on Walnut.

14-  Number of different activites: lunch,  dinner, drinks, dessert, Illinois game, bowling, LOST watch, movie, snowboarding, Superbowl party, live band, book club, story teller, trivia

15– Number of times I went out for lunch

13-- Number of times I went out for drinks

6– Number of times I went out for dinner***

2– Number of times I went out for dessert.  Again, notable because I rarely go out just for dessert.

2– Number of Illini games watched**** (one at the Assembly Hall, one at Bunny’s)

2– Number of things I’d never done before:  go snowboarding and listen to a professional story teller

0– Number of pounds I’ve gained.  Seriously. I definitely feel fatter/less healthy, but according to the scale, my weight is the same.

I don’t even want to think about the number of drinks or calories I consumed.  Thank goodness I didn’t have this “by the numbers” idea earlier or else I really would turn into the guy from Supersize Me. Lol.

More importantly, though, I’m amazed at the number of things I was able to cram into one month… and the number of people I convinced to “play along.”  It was really a great experiment and I’m glad I did it.  I highly doubt 31 days of 31 are in my future, though :)

In case you missed them (or just want to relive the fun), here are the weekly recaps:

• Week 1
• Week 2
• Week 3
• Week 4, Part 1
• Week 4, Part 2

——————-

Notes on the Methodology

*Includes only people in “my party” and does not include repeats (i.e. if I had lunch with Lisa one day and happy hour another, she is only counted once).

**For this purpose a bar is defined as a place primarily for drinking whereas a restaurant is an eating establishment.  I chose to count them based on why/when I was there.  (i.e. Farren’s is a bar/restaurant, but I was only there for lunch, so it gets counted as a restaurant.)

*** This number is probably lower than it should be.  I counted an event as drinks if drinking was the primary purpose of the activity (i.e. happy hour). It’s more than likely that dinner was also consumed.

**** Again, possibly artificially deflated.  There may have been an Illini game on during a happy hour that I did not record as a “game watch”

If a Tree Falls in the Blogosphere…

Does anyone hear it?? I’ve completely neglected this blog. Not because nothing interesting has happened. In fact, TONS of interesting stuff has happened in the last couple of weeks. But in a bad way.

No, I’ve been absent for a number of other reasons a) i’ve been dealing with other stuff that I’m not sure I want to share with the world, however anonymously b) it appears people are only coming to the blog for photos and c) I just haven’t felt the need to write.

When I decided to start this blog, I thought it would be a fun way to write about stuff I didn’t feel comfortable sharing on my mySpace blog. For that reason, I didn’t promote it to my friends and family, I don’t have pictures or links to the “real” me… I guess I (vainly) thought blogging was like Field of Dreams; If you blog it, they will come.

But I realize now that having a successful blog takes commitment… daily writing, interesting posts, promotion. I guess I could do that. If nothing else, I need to get back to posting every day. But do I really want to go through the work to promote my blog? Especially since I don’t know what I’m writing about? Or why?

The other challenge is how much personal stuff to share… 99% of the things I want to write about have to do with friends/family/coworkers…. but I don’t want to give too much away.

Anyway, this is a long meandering post. . . with very little resolution. Maybe I’ll figure it out one day.
~Peace

It’s been a while…

I haven’t done one of these freewrites for a while.  As usual, I have lots of stuff going through my head.

My dog has to have surgery.

I hope I’m making the right choice.

I  don’t have any money.

How did I manage to piss away my entire stimulus check without knowing it?  I

‘m trying to do some laundry. I need to clean. I have no plans for the long weekend.

There are countless unread books and unwatched movies at my house.

I’m bored at work.

I had a fun weekend, but I’m still not caught up on my sleep.

I’m having weird stomach issues.

I hate cold sores.

The dryer is buzzing.

I don’t want to go to work.

I’m annoyed by my coworkers.

My office is a mess.

I’m not smoking.

I’m probably drinking more.

My friend’s dad died, but I’m not sure the details yet.

I want to write a blog about why I heart Lost.

There were lots of inaccuracies in my last Lost blog.

I’ve had more interesting things to say before.

But I can’t seem to think of any now.

I don’t know how to fill up this 15 minutes.

So I’ll stop.

Permanent Adolescence

I’m not 100% sure where this post will take me, but I’ve had a bunch of thoughts running through my head the last few days and I feel the need to get them out.  Maybe I’ll edit it later.  Maybe not.

I wrote a list of “things to do with my life” on the plane the other day.  I couldn’t find a piece of paper so I found an ad in my magazine with the most amount of white space and just started furiously writing… curiously enough, the ad was for Ketel One vodka.  I’m sure that’s somehow significant.  If I can get to a scanner, I’ll post it.  Very interesting.

I don’t know what my problem is.  I’m not unhappy. I’m not depressed.  I’m not anxious.  I’m just, well, restless.  I feel like life is passing me by and that there has to be something more fun/exciting/INTERESTING to do.  But I don’t know what it is.

I feel like I’m in a permanent adolescence.  I keep WAITING for my life to start.  To “happen.”   I spent my high school years working towards getting into college.  In college, I spent time working towards getting a “good job”  in the “real world.”  Now that I have that, I want more.  But what, exactly, do I want?

A boyfriend?

A different job?

Kids?

I honestly don’t know.  I don’t think just another job/change of pace is going to be enough.  I feel like I need a whole different lifestyle.  A different ME.   Maybe that’s what it is… I’m bored with myself.

Ugh.  What a horrible thought.

I knew I was bored.  Lately I’ve been finding my work boring, my friends boring, even my “fun” boring… but have *I* become boring to myself as well?   And is there anything worse that boring YOURSELF?

I realize there are real problems in this world, but I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels waiting for something to happen to me.    Yeah, I have a lot of “fun.”  I have great friends, lots of plans… but am I using that just to bide my time?  Where is the meaning?

Lately I’ve been thinking I should go back to school. Become an academic.  I just think that world is better suited to me.  But I don’t have anything I like well enough to devote that much time to it.  Maybe my practicality is getting the better of me.

Then I think maybe I’ll follow my long-lost dream of joining the Peace Corps. It’s only 2 years.  But then WHAT?  Will I be 2 years “behind”?  Will what I gain from that experience make up for all that I’ll be missing here?

There’s that famous quote (maybe from Elanor Roosevelt?) about doing something every day that scares you.  Have I become so complacent that I’m not working with “the Fear” anymore?  What’s the worst that would happen to me?

I need an adventure. Something I can really sink my teeth into.  Not staining the fence or painting the garage.  Not going on a solo trip out East (although I’m seriously reconsidering that one at this point).  I need to do something meaningful… adventurous… interesting.

Do I sound like a broken record yet? It’s the same old thing… but I don’t know where to start. I guess the fact that there’s no “magic” answer is what’s killing me.  There’s no playbook.  No script.  I’ve been following the predetermined script of my life for so long, I don’t know how to get off.  I just mixed my metaphors.  But you know what I mean.

I sound like a whiny bitch.  I get it.  But maybe just recognizing the problem will bring me one step closer to solving it.  Whatever that means.

Still bored

Still bored.  Still haven’t worked out.  Went to Braves game. Some super nice people let me sit with them, but I left after dinner.  Came back to the room.  Fucked around online for a while.  Hit the hotel bar.  Had a mexican appetizer and 2 glasses of wine.  Bored out of my mind.  Should go to bed, but I’m having a hard time sleeping.

Watching the returns for the democratic primaries.  Indiana still up for grabs.  I’m starting to get mad at Hilary.  I like her, but I wish she’d drop out.  I’m gonna be pissed if this fucks things up for Barack.

Traveling sucks right now.  Grrrrr…..

I’ve got nothing to say…

So, I gave up on my “morning freewrites” this weekend because yesterday I was too hungover to write coherently and today I couldn’t think of anything to write.

I’ve been hanging out all day thinking that I’d have some sort of epiphany and the perfect post would just pop into my head. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of “deep” stuff to write about. But I tried that yesterday and it didn’t work so well for me. I think I have to be in the right mood for deep.

I’m also still waiting for the funny post that I know I have in me. I’m generally a funny person. And I’ve even been capable of writing funny stuff, but for some reason, humor has escaped me since starting this blog.

However, I’m committed to writing something–anything– at least daily, so here goes nothing…

Things I’ve done today (in no particular order)

• Watched a marathon of America’s Next Top Model. The season where Eva wins. I’ve seen it at least 4 times
• Ordered pizza online. I’ve had pizza delivered to my house maybe 3 times since I’ve lived here and I’ve never ordered it online. Talk about a new level of laziness.
• Talked to my grandma on the phone. She called me, so I don’t get brownie points
• Did the dishes, laundry is 2/3 done
• Uploaded pix from the weekend to mySpace
• Left the house once- to get ice cream. Again, lazy. And horrible food choices.

Things I haven’t done today

• Work out
• Shower (as of 9 pm, I showered… so it goes in the list above!)
• Finish paying bills
• Sweep/mom the floors
• Read my book
• Consult my to-do list

There you have it… my not-so-exciting day in a nutshell. Time to get back on the couch. I’m sure there’s a re-run I haven’t seen, and I know there are unwatched Netflix lying around. But, honestly, I won’t watch them, either. Too much of a time commitment (not that 5 hours of ANTM wasn’t a time commitment, but, well– it’s different!)

Freewriting, part 2

Well, I guess we’ll try this again. I had two ideas for blogs yesterday. One was my theory on Tuesdays, which is no longer timely (but look for it next week!) and the other I can’t remember… I’ve been racking my brains to try to come up with it. No luck.

So, today is my vacation day and I’ve been up since 5. Woke up with horrible stomach pains and can’t get back to sleep. I have a mile-long list of things to do today. I’m thinking “take a nap” might be one of them. It’s supposed to be super nice so hopefully I can take advantage of it.

Last night was the Backyard Tire Fire show.

The show was good. I was annoyed ‘cuz my friend was already drunk when I got there and I was ridiculously tired, so I had some catching up to do. Strangely enough, I actually had fun with his brother. We generally don’t get along but he was a lot more fun, talkative, energetic than my friend. I really, really, really hate babysitting. And moodiness. Unless it’s my own moodiness!

As usual, Backyard Tire Fire was awesome. I love that they’re a local. I need to download some of their new stuff. I love live music. When its good, it’s REALLY good. Maybe I should try to see some shows during my yet-to-be-determined road trip.

I got a lil drunk, but not too bad. We left the show during the headlining act, got some McDonalds (thus the stomach problems) and came home.

What else? Oh, I’m grossed out by how much smoking I’ve done lately. My lungs need a break and I’m afraid I smell.

This has to be the lamest freewrite in the history of the world. Seriously. I generally have four thousand thoughts streaming through my head. Maybe it’s because I’ve been up too long and my emotions have been effectively repressed. Or maybe I’m just tired.

Oh, wait. I just remembered my other post…. time to write it. I guarantee this isn’t gonna do much for my hit count–ahaha!!

Five Finger Discount

My blog stats have been WAY up the last few days so I was trying to think of something to write to keep up the momentum. For inspiration, I used my trusty friend the tag surfer and happened upon this blog and decided to do my own version. Maybe I’ll be inspired to write something more “meaty” later, but I wouldn’t count on it.

5 things in my bag

(yes, more than 5, but I’m not exactly a ‘rule follower’ am I?)

The bag– a fake Gucci I got at a purse party a couple months ago and have been carrying ever since. I love it. It’s deep red/almost burgundy and fits a lot of shit (as you’ll soon see)

The Contents:

Since this is the “5 item game” I’ll just point out the highlights:

1) Cigarettes-- I haven’t been smoking much lately but on my way out of town I bought a pack. In the spirit of honesty, I left those in, although I am NOT proud of it!

2) A Lint Roller– No matter what, I’m *always* finding lint, fuzz, dog hair, etc. on my pants, so I’ve been carrying it around with me

3) My camera– You can’t see it in the picture (because, duh, it was taking the picture), but I almost always have my digital camera on me in case a photo op arises.

4) Various lipglosses/chap stick. There are a total of 7 lip products in my bag. SEVEN! Seriously.

5) Random papers– including a written warning for speeding that I got back in July. I was using the back of it for my to-do list

5 favorite things in my room

I honestly don’t have a lot of fun stuff in my room, but here’s what I came up with

1) This great necklace I’ve been wearing everywhere. It came from Silpada or Lia Sophia or something but it’s exactly the right length and it’s a little quirkier than the rest of my jewelry

2) My “Wall of Shoes”-- I especially like the black Nine West’s, but they’ve seen better days!

3) My Old Crow and I Heart New York stickers– they usually live on my mirror, but I put them on the dresser for better a better pic

4) My “piggy bank”– It’s actually an old milk bottle, but I love it. I’ve had it since I was a kid!

5) Gap Messenger Bag– I got this in college and I’ve carried it EVERYWHERE– to school, to work, on vacation. Its an all purpose bag. I think I paid $10 for it!

5 things I’m currently into:

1) Reading– I’ve always been a reader, but right now I’m on one of my reading “spurts”

2) Kelly Green and Lemon Yellow– I’m kinda transitioning from the green to yellow, but couldn’t find a good yellow object to photograph

3) Self-Reflection: This is a poster I made a while ago about “who I am,” but I feel I’ve grown since then

4) This awesome weather– It has been SO NICE here the last couple of days. I’m finally able to wear my sunglasses!

5) Handlebars by the Flobots. I can’t get enough of this song!

5 things I’ve always wanted to do

1) Go skiing. I’ve tried to water ski w/no luck and I’ve NEVER been snow skiing

2) Join the Peace Corps

3) Get paid to write

4) Be a man for a day

5) Be famous