I’ve been struggling with my runs lately. Blame it on the time change, weather change, travelling, roller derby, illness, whatever. But the simple fact is, I’m not IN IT like I need to be. To steal a phrase from Alice in Wonderland, I’ve lost much of my muchness.
I haven’t hit a weekday run in over two weeks. I cut short both of my runs while I was in Louisville for work (one on a treadmill and one–gasp– with a coworker). I did manage one stellar 8 mi run BEFORE work last week, but that was the last time I actually felt GOOD about a run.
Last night was especially brutal. I felt good. My legs were fresh. The weather was nice. I hadn’t planned on running, but I felt like it. I figured it would be just what I needed to get back on track. I planned a nice 6.5 mile route and told myself I’d run at LEAST 5 mi of it, if not more. I made it just over 3 mi. I wasn’t especially tired. My legs/lungs didn’t hurt. I just gave up. Then I decided I’d walk for a bit and run the second 3 mi. Gave up again. All in all, I ran about 4 mi and walked the rest. “Real” runners were passing me and smiling at one another. I felt like a loser.
I used all my “tricks” to get me through the run– counting songs, visualizing finishing the race, “bargaining” with myself for just another 20 mins. But none of it worked. Running is mostly mental and my mental game is just not there. Lack of muchness.
There are less than 40 days til the half marathon. I KNOW I can do it, but right now my confidence is waning. Big Time. What if I have a “bad run” on race day? What if I can’t get back into the groove for my 9, 10, 11 mile runs? I def need a plan for getting me out of this slump.