As the Illinois Marathon (and half-marathon…which I’m running)quickly approaches, I’ve been getting the same question over and over: Are you ready??
Truth is: I’m not. Although I’ve been training since mid-January (I’ll have to look up the exact date), I don’t feel ready.
I’d like to tell myself to “trust in my training,” but I don’t feel like I’ve had the most successful training cycle– I missed a couple long runs, shortened some of my mid-week runs and haven’t really felt on for a while now. Many of my long runs start off strong and then peter out near the end. Even some of the shorter ones have been less-than-stellar.
I’ve been running 3 or so times a week and getting plenty of cross-training via derby, but I just don’t feel ready. Although I still enjoy running, I enjoy derby more and have been focusing a lot of my time on that the last few weeks (more on derby later, I promise!)
By now, I had hoped to be up to the full 13 miles, but I’m not. I did “10” last weekend. I put 10 in quotes because it was technically just 9.58… and I took a 2-min walk break at mile 6 and slowed down for some stop lights. This is analagous to the advice they give about slowing down/walking through water stops, but I think I’d be much more confident if I had a full 10 mi of RUNNING under my belt.
I’d hoped that by running a 10K a couple weeks ago, it would decrease my race anxiety… but I think it only made it worse. There’s NO REASON for me to take walk breaks in a 6 mi run, yet I did. I hope I don’t give up that early in the half. I’d like to finish in a respectable time (right now, “respectable” is looking like 2:30:00… sad, I know!), but I dont’ want to get so hung up on time that I psyche myself out.
I don’t want to waste all of these weeks of training by burning out in the end, so I’m hoping for a few solid runs this week and I’m going to try 13 on Sunday– even if I have to take some scheduled walk breaks.
So much of running is mental and I know if I let the “what if’s” into my head, I’ll be DOA. But with my recent setbacks, it’s hard to keep them at bay. I’m hoping I’ll get a little push from the race day adrenaline… and so far the forecast seems doable. But my nerves are definitely cranked up to 11 for this one.
I MUST do this… Wish me luck!
(Just don’t tell me that I’ll do “fine.” I’ve heard that so many times and it’s about to make me pull my hair out!)